— I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.
— Oh, and don’t worry about my bulldog, Bob. He won’t bother you. But whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot. I repeat: do not talk to my parrot!
When the repairman arrived at Laura’s apartment the next morning, he found the biggest, meanest-looking bulldog he had ever seen. But just as Laura had said, Bob simply lay on the carpet, watching him work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the entire time with nonstop yelling, cursing, and name-calling.
Finally, the repairman couldn’t take it anymore and shouted:
— Shut up you stupid, ugly bird!
